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Archive for the ‘Jokes’ Category

Hot coffee definitely hurts

I was eating lunch on the 20th of February with my 7-year-old granddaughter and I asked her, “What day is tomorrow?”

She said “It’s President’s Day!”
 
She is a smart kid. So, I asked “What does President’s Day mean?”
 
I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln etc.
 
She replied, “President’s Day is when President Obama steps out of the
White House, and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of
unemployment.
 
You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose…
 

R2-D2: The most vulgar character ever

Ever wonder why you couldn’t understand him?

How do you get your exercise?

During sex you burn as much calories as you would running for 8 kilometers.

My question is, who the fuck runs 8 kilometers in 30 seconds?

Stay in school, learn your grammar

Never underestimate the power of a woman!

If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.

A Guy Walks Into A Bar….

A guy walks into a bar, orders a scotch and soda and puts a frog on the bar. The bartender gives him the drink and asks what the frog’s for?
The guy snaps his fingers and the frog jumps down and blows the man. The bartender is amazed, and asks to see that again.
So the guy a second time snaps his fingers, the frog jumps down, blows the man, and hops back on the bar. The bartender is astounded, he …offers the guy $3000 for the frog.
The man of course accepts, and gives the frog to the bartender.
The bartender, after his shift, goes home. he’s sitting in his kitchen, calls his wife over, says he has something to show her.
His wife walks in, the bartender takes the frog out of his pocket, puts it on the table, snaps his fingers, the frog jumps down, blows the bartender and hops back on the kitchen table.
The wife asks, “what the hell do u want me to do with that? To which he replies “teach it to cook and fuck off”.

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